come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
never play flip cup with pint glasses
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
