So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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