Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
