I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
