Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
