we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sober January is a disaster.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
