saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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