May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize