I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
