I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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