His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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