Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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