no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
