and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize