I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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