Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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