so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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