We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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