I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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