when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
