I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
