haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
