this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's never too late to be topless.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
