no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
