nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
