i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
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