Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
