So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
