sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
