Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize