You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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