is your mom at the bar?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
