singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
