Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
