it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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