dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
