do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
