i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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