how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
