I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
