this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
