In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
