dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dicks are not precious.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
