I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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