Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

Did you see that girl I got with last night?

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..

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(704): View more from North Carolina

happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

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(940): View more from Texas

shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.

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(703): View more from Virginia

It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...

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(850): View more from Florida

idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.

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(206): View more from Washington

The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far

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