It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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