at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
