thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize