why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
