dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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