According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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