Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
