We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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