Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize