you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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