wat bout pragnant strippers??
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
