It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
