Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
