he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
